

Hi Subscriber,
I hope you have a great weekend and if you have children, I hope you get to
spend some time with them. With that in mind, here's today's e-mail.
Blink
A friend of mine is experiencing motherhood for the first time. She reports to
me that she is very busy with the baby and that her back is hurting from all the
lifting, but that she's enjoying every moment with her new son. I was so happy
to hear that. Childhood flies by at an alarming pace.
My baby (my first-born) just turned ten Tuesday. I was keenly aware of this
passage of time as I watched him grow through so many stages of his life; from
infancy through toddlerhood, the pre-school years, the primary grades and now
on to girlfriend protest. This is the stage, when boys spend increasing amounts
of time with girls, while claiming to be grossed out by the idea of dating.
It never really bothered me, this business of him getting older. He was growing
up, up, up and it was my job to encourage and assist that process. I was doing
my part, he was doing his. All was progressing according to plan.
Then, when I was picking up my son's party cake, the woman at the bakeshop
asked me who it was for and suddenly a huge lump swelled in my throat and tears
filled my eyes. "It's for my son" I choked out in a barely audible whisper, "he's ten
today." From the way I reacted, I'm sure she must have thought he was terminally ill.
And while he isn't terminal, in that instant, with that question and answer, I was
struck by the crushing reality that his childhood was. He was more than half way
grown and in that brief moment I saw our future and our past. I saw his first little
smile and I imagined his wave as he drove off to university. I saw his tentative first steps and I saw him walking down the aisle. I saw him delighted with a crayon
drawing and then with his own little son.
At the grocery store, with these thoughts reflected on my face, I wiped the tears from my cheeks and reached for the cake. The woman behind the counter locked eyes with me and I felt a wave of compassion flow from mother to mother. "I know" she said, nodding her head in acknowledgment of my grief and then more slowly as if considering her own, "I know."
I took the cake and the tissue she offered, and with my face contorted in emotion,
holding back a new flood of tears, replied, "I didn't."
Crystal
Copyright 2005, Crystal Eves
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