Hi Subscriber,
On a lighter note today...
Please Excuse My Bell
Each life has its little surprises and in my world recently, it has been my doorbell.
Who would have known that when my husband installed our new doorbell, that it
would be such a source of joy for my children.
The reason we got the new doorbell was not some vain attempt to have the best
chime on the street; although judging from the fact that children of all ages line up
to ring it, it may be just that. No, we needed the bell because we no longer had one.
We no longer had one, because the last time someone rang our bell, it didn't chime,
but rather set off a fire in our kitchen wall. I was a little perturbed, thinking that the
doorbell was defective with it bursting into flames and all, but actually it did bring
my attention to the fact that someone was at the door, so in retrospect I have to
admit, it did do its job.
Of course, it also forced me to call the fire department and evacuate the house, but
on the upside, it got me out of talking to the solicitor who had set the whole fiasco in
motion, so I really can't complain.
All effectiveness and benefits aside however, we were quite certain the doorbell
wouldn't work again, which meant if Ed McMahon came calling with a giant cheque,
we would miss him. Not wanting to chance that, we decided to replace the old system
right away. It was a job we approached with the same commitment we have for all
our home renovations and five years later it was finally done.
This time (to avoid the whole 'wires in the wall' business) we opted for a battery
operated, remote control chime and just to be fancy, we put in a relay chime system
as well. The relay works like this: the regular doorbell sounds, and a little receiver we
plug into the electrical socket, picks up the sound and in turn, rings another doorbell
downstairs. (I told you it was fancy.) With this system, whether we are upstairs or
down, we know if there is a giant cheque at our door.
Fantastic. Or so we thought.
It took about a day for my youngest son to realize that he could set off the secondary
bell with his voice. He discovered this quite by accident in a fit of high pitched
laughter, and then later learned to recreate the effect by screaming.
Imagine this: You're in the basement. Your child screams as the door bell sounds.
Panicked, you run up two flights of stairs to see what stranger at the door is murdering your child, only to find your little angel smiling, delighted and ready to scream again. That was my first month with the new chime.
Then another important discovery; one that sent the children into hysterics. The
doorbell frequency is identical to the frequency on the remote control fart machine that my oldest son got as a gift. Now, every time someone rings the bell, in addition to hearing a chime, we hear loud, painful sounds of flatulence. This causes high pitched laughter from my youngest, which sounds off the secondary chime until he stops.
And now a quiz.
How many children do you imagine want to repeatedly ring this doorbell? If you
answered, every child ever born and their father, you would be correct. How many
delivery people think I have loud and chronic gas? Correct answer--anyone who has
since delivered to my house. Last question: How much longer do you think I can put
up with this? Answer: A lot longer. Because for better or for worse, my sons takes after me and all three of us find this unbelievably amusing.
Crystal
Copyright 2005, Crystal Eves
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2005 Crystal Eves.com - Site by Simply Effective Web Design - All Rights Reserved.
Portrait photo courtesy of The Wright House Photography, Newmarket, ON/Banner photo credit unknown
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